Hi there folks!! Yes, it's me!! Have you missed me? {Ha, I know I am probably talking to no one now} anyway, I'm about two beers in and it's almost midnight - which means it's still early {I work till about 2 am each night..it's called hustlin..if you've ever owned your own business or a freelancer then, I'm sure you know what I am talking about here...anyway, - what was I talking about? - ? Oh, I think I need to close this parenthesis } - there..ok, so...I know it's been awhile - so this post will most likely be more of a ramble since its a post that has been in my head since last night..so here goes:

Often I rely on my husband to do a lot of the night time bedtime routines - because I'm lazy, I mean because he is just so much better at it than I am. When he does it - it takes about 20 minutes tops. When it's me? It could go on for a few hours. I'm not even kidding.

Last night was no exception. Jax has been ok but where I have my difficulty is with Raima who, as she will gladly tell you is 2.5 years old - don't forget that half! She is stubborn, a daredevil and still so petite and therefore pretty darn cute. Meaning - she still has a good hold on me. I have been trying to wean her {yes, from the boob. yes, she is two and a half..believe me, I am trying. BUT - if this is going to be my last baby - well...sometimes, its difficult not to cuddle..of course if she happens to mozy into your room at say, 5 am and snuggle up into your bed and arms...only to find yourself half awake and realize - she is now nursing on top of you..how the hell did that happen? yeah - that really did happen..I guess I was tired and didn't even realize, it just means at least I was asleep at some point - and that is a good thing} and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt..anyway, last night - was pretty bad.

We, as parents {I am only speaking for me and my own household} try to tell our kids not to yell, to whine, and if anything to try and explain and use words to express how we feel...and yet, there I was last night - yelling at the top of my lungs over her cries and screams because she just wouldn't stay in her bed or go to sleep. Over and over again...I put her down, kiss her goodnight and give her a hug...and off I go to try and work. Then a few minutes later she appears in my dark office {helps with editing} and says in her oh so cute and tiny voice: " just a quick hug" - with her arms out ready to be given a love squeeze..I abide of course but after a dozen of these I just kind of get fed up. I know, as I type this - how can you get fed up for being asked for hugs and kisses?

Well, there I was fed up because I had some sessions I needed to get working on and also respond to emails plus I was just freaking out and stressed over having a dry spell in my inquiries {in case you didn't know, I'm a full time wedding & birth photographer now...well, aside from being a full time mom too} and I was sadly throwing my own tantrum.

Anyway...the night finally ended quietly and she did end up going to sleep and not getting up anymore but I was a mess. How can I tell my kids....

update: as of 09/10/14 - which is now no longer a Tuesday..oops. and the thought train to this has left the station...so I have no idea where I was going..well, I actually didn't read it but..anyway..

A lot has happened..the dry spell didn't last long {ok, I read a little} and am really really busy again...and Jax started TK and Raima was a bit lonely there for awhile and both my kiddos will be a year older at the end of this week!! YIKES!

Visit this link over on my photography website to see a day in the life series of Jax on his first day of school!!!! {we both survived..frankly, I'm not one of those moms who are saddened by the fact that he is in school - I am ecstatic that he is in school - except for the part about waking up early - that part, I'm not too happy about - and neither is Jax!}