Some people think it's tacky to have a baby shower for the second (or third, fourth etc..) child. I am not one of those people, but these people exist. I mean, I understand where the tackiness can come from - if the parents were not saving the big ticket items or just wanting to accumulate new stuff just to have new stuff than that's pretty tacky. We've pretty much gave away most of Jax's baby stuff to other parents for use with their kids, but have kept a lot of the big ticket stuff - like the high chair and the pack n play (which we will use as the crib, since we returned our old drop side crib to receive a 25% off coupon @ babies r us). We also purchased a double stroller ourselves and the only thing on our registry so far is - the car seat (and an extra base) that goes with the new double stroller. Other than that - i really dont have anything on there. I still do have some of Jax's newborn stuff so even if the baby turns out to be a girl (we hope) she will be stuck with boy clothes for awhile. It's not like she'll know the difference anyway.

Part of the reason to NOT have a baby shower (for me at least) is, the last time i had a baby shower - was also the last time i saw my mom alive, and that sort of, and that really pains me. We would also be having the baby shower, if we decide to have one, around the same time - 4th of July weekend. I lost my Mom on July 12th, 2009. So, its really tough for me. With that I just realized that maybe that is why this second pregnancy is not getting the fan fare the first pregnancy was getting. Well, it's partially the reason. It is after all the second time around. I think I have been getting more headaches and migraines AND having been (and somewhat still) sick and frumpy lately because of the connection with losing my mom and having a baby..the thoughts and issues of - here is another grandchild she misses out on, etc.. and then a whole pandora's box opens up of what ifs again and then i get angry, and then sad and then tired when i was already tired to begin with, so then I'm just exhausted and then i guess i become (more) sick?

Sooo..Jax is now 18 months old! He's such a little entertainer and makes new faces and gestures everyday. He repeats things but not too well but he completely understands you if you ask him for things or to do stuff. It's pretty amazing. He's a delight and a great medicine to me at times when my heart sinks a little too low. All I have to do is take a look at him, squeeze him and show him my belly - which he'll say - baby - to. He'll quickly laugh and do something as if to cheer me up and instantly, I'm smiling again. It's a roller coaster ride sometimes what with the pregnancy hormones as well.

Anyway....today is Friday and actually I feel somewhat better, perhaps its because I took the time to actually shower and put on a tiny bit of makeup? i dont know. or it could be because its FRIDAY. or a combo of both. I have a paid survey interview today and did I mention it was Friday? We have a wonderfully packed weekend too. I'm excited can't wait..

Happy Birthdays to Teddy & Penny!!