Well, that was weird. It must be a sign! Right? Let me explain. Yesterday (that would be two days ago now, if I actually am able to publish this post today), I was trolling the internet (at my job) and fantasizing about getting a new one. One that would pay a considerable amount more so that we could continue this stay at home dad lifestyle we’ve become accustomed to. But then last night as I settled in and perused the internet on my phone (as I normally do when Jax is drifting off to sleep- please go to sleep?!), I read a post on this blog I go to often. The blogger wrote about how despite the mediocre paycheck she got, the flexibility of her workplace and the awesome people she worked with more than made up for it (I think that’s what she was saying).  As I continued to read the post and exclaimed YES (in my head of course, Jax was sleeping- YAY) at every perk the blogger mentioned, I felt sort of relieved and it calmed my woes and fears of my own mediocre paycheck (not that its terribly mediocre. I have definitely climbed the ranks and in a short amount of time here) because what my workplace lacks in monetary accommodations it more than makes up for it in its people and flexibility. This morning I realized this is sort of a hot button topic, as I found a few more blogs and articles regarding – workplace flexibility. so hot that its taken up residence in the white house. well, figuratively speaking of course.

Anyway, I know I should count my lucky stars that one of us is able to stay home to take care of Jax and that even with my mediocre salary we are able to not only survive but maintain some of our luxuries like having/buying fresh local and or organic produce and live in the house we were in when we were single and a sort of two income household (oh AND have internet and cable!).

My workplace is pretty awesome, in all the ways that the blogger had said hers is. My boss knows my husband by name and asks about Jax on a daily basis. He even likes it when they drop by so he can hold and play with him. It helps that he is a father also (He has a daughter who is 10). His wife schedules lunches with us outside of work and we go on hikes together. We get invited to weddings and definitely have birthday cakes at our office for employee birthdays- although we seem to always forget our boss' birthday (i know, terrible) until after the day. It's really a relaxed atmosphere. There is no dress code and I feel comfortable with having my tattoos out in the open. I also get home at a reasonable time (by 5 pm) and weekends are all mine. Work is left at work (but my brain has a hard time understanding this sometimes). I know that in other larger companies of the same trade, someone in my position could have a company car, maybe a company credit card for expenses and also earn $10K to $20,000 more annually (and now with my newly acquired credential, it could be more)- but then again that same person in that larger company may not have a job right now in this economy or never even had the wonderful perks that I have here. In many ways the rewards are priceless. Some of which we won't know or can define until Jax is much older or when we actually have to go to a two income family to compare it to.

But still, I fantasize when we both can stay at home and not have to seriously work just to make ends meet. For now we pull on those ends and make a knot. And sometimes when those knots get undone, I unravel and worry about how we will get by and then I fantasize about getting a new higher paying job. its a vicious cycle.