Wow, will you look at that? Consecutive posts! What what?!! I'm tellin ya, I'm motivated. I'm motivated to live the life that I want. To do the things that inspire me and to share my thoughts on things that matter and sometimes, I share things that don't really matter - or things that, I don't know, pique my interest.

Have you ever looked at the negative events that happen in your day and notice those are the major topics of your conversations?  Like those near misses or the - I was almost..stories and thoughts? Do you know what I am talking about? How often do you talk about these things and events in your day to day? It's quite astonishing how much many of us do and how often.

One of the things that Charlie and **I try and do is to not dwell on those kind of moments of our day to day anymore, so that they become less and really the nothing that they are. So that those negative things don't take up space in our heads and in our lives. Because of this, I can go for days or weeks and then all of a sudden remember an almost tragic {ok, I'm obviously being dramatic} thing that could have happened but didn't - like - someone not stopping at a red light, or running a stop sign and almost hitting our car. But they didn't, so..the story never got told and that negative energy and feeling from that almost event never got a hold on me..anyway, maybe it's just me but I feel like with my old self - I really dwelled so much in these near misses and sometimes anguished over them {like when I am the one that accidentally cuts off a driver - or ...yeah}

Anyhoo - maybe it's just me..I used to let a lot of things take a hold of me, but all I have to remember is - they have no power over me. Even when times and situations get the better of me, I know it is not permanent and that I can just let go and realize Sarah's words - You have no power over me.

**though, I still falter on this and sometimes - I just like gossip & drama - or am awkward at a social setting so need a quick topic to bring up and usually this is what comes up easily.

{Click on images to enlarge}

I am in tears right now. Good, happy tears. Tears because I know that I am loved and supported. Thank you, Charlie.

I wrote an email to Charlie this morning because, like I've stated here before, I'm tired of my unfulfilling desk job and tried to think of ways I could make ends meet while still pursing my passions and hopefully in a few years, making my passions be steady enough to pay the bills. Here is his response:

You're on the right track.  Looking to branch out, keeping your eyes on other opportunities, in and out of your current field, and pursuing your passions.  I think I heard you talking about marketing yourself as a wedding photographer to college students?  This sounds like a great way to develop a clientele.  I could go to a couple of colleges and universities with Jax tomorrow when we're on our excursion and post some flyers or business cards.  I'll do whatever I can to support you.  And I can certainly look at moving on if Lighthouse doesn't offer me something that's competitive, once I'm credentialed (in Fall 2015 would be fully credentialed, I could conceivably move on after the preliminary credential was finished in Fall of 2014 but I wouldn't be CLEARing my credential through Reach unless I was at another charter they were affiliated with, meaning I would pay much more in tuition).  As far as being 100% Mom and Wife, you're doing a great job.  Your kids have the best Mom they could ever have.  They're healthy and loving kids because they have a Mom who cares for them and loves them.  Your husband is crazy in love with you.  He's also a little crazy, so when it seems like you're not the best Wife ever, it's because he's a bit obsessive and uptight.  He can't always remember that things are exactly as they ought to be, right in the moment, but that's not how they'll always be.  He can't always summon the faith to move through the challenges he faces with calm.  But you help him so much in those areas by being exactly who you are, speaking up for yourself and taking risks.  Mom and Wife are two jobs you are doing perfectly.

I love you,
Charlie

I teared up as I started to read his words. Charlie also let me sleep last night as soon as I got home from my desk job and took over the parenting duties for a second night by himself because on Tuesday night & Wednesday morning - I was with Jenny helping her with her successful VBAC (my first experience as a birth photography session and being a doula). He also packed me a lunch today. So, thank you again Charlie - for being a wonderful husband and a super duper father to our kids. I love you too.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Welcome to another week of the Currently Link up posts! This weeks theme is Making, Thinking, Loving, Cooking & Dreaming.. So come on, join us and link up what you are currently up to! (psst..you don't have to follow this theme, you can just share whatever it is that you are currently up to)

Currently I am...

Making .. a list in my head of what to pack and NOT forget this time around (like the kids suitcase with all their clothes in it!) on our trip back down to LA.

Thinking.. about a whole lotta stuff. My brain is constantly overloaded with stuff that I am having some difficulty sleeping lately. I am thinking about how I will be able to overcome my fears of public speaking this Saturday as I do one of the first readings at my grandfather's funeral.

Loving.. the fact that I have to turn on the heater, is that weird? I love the sound it makes, and the ever so faint smell of the heater too. Ok, that's probably weird. (What? You didn't know that about me? I'm pretty weird) I love that the cold makes it even better for snuggles and being cozy. Hot chocolates, I love those too. With little marshmallows. I guess this time of year, I really think about my childhood and being a kid.


Cooking..a tortilla de patatas  - well, Charlie will be cooking this tonight. It's one of our go to road trip food items to pack (as well as a go to potluck item). Because it can be eaten with one hand, doesn't have to be warm and the kids like it. (This is the recipe that Charlie adapted his from, but it's in Spanish. He has since made it so that he only uses very little oil. but there is also this recipe from Smitten Kitchen - haven't tried it but I use her site a lot)

Dreaming.. fantasizing really, of making the transition from working for someone to working for myself or dreaming about this opportunity I have to take over an already established business and making it my own, and having it grow, get better and so on. Sigh...oh dreams..

Now it's your turn, what are you currently up to?

Next weeks theme is: reading, listening to, hating, laughing, ignoring

Ps. There will be a guest post tomorrow and possibly Saturday (if you want to guest post - message me!) as we will be spending time with family for my grandfather's memorial services. If I do have time or am compelled to write or share something during this time, I'll post! See you all on Monday :)

This weeks themes: (inspired by the letter W....for no specific reason) Watching, Wishing, Waiting, Wondering, Worrying. You don't have to follow this theme if you link up to share what are you currently up to. Visit over here or here, and link up and see what everyone else is currently up to. You'd be surprised (or not) how much we all have in common.

Jax is currently..

Watching..too much "tv" due to our road trip. For the drive down and back up - he got to watch a movie. He also watched a couple of shows while we all gathered after my grandfather's death and tried to celebrate Thanksgiving and discuss some adult matters.

Wishing..and hoping and thinking and praying, planning and dreaming...that song just popped into my head. Sorry.

Waiting.. for nothing in particular - as he should be fast asleep by now. Seeing how it is, once again past midnight.

Wondering..always wondering and asking questions because of his wonderment. I love catching him talking to himself or going off on a tangent over explaining "stuff" when he's asked the same question - why?

Worrying..about nothing, I hope!

I am currently..

Watching not enough TV. I think I need to check our DVR and see if it's full and not actually recording shows anymore.

Wishing..that this woman finds/receives her hat back..because it is much more than just a hat. 

Waiting..for a storm to come. It's supposed to rain for like ever, I mean, like a week straight. It did rain today and it was super windy but not as bad as it was made out to be.

Wondering..about a lot of things. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say..

Worrying..about what's in store for us financially, but what's new? December & January are our hardest months. What with Charlie's work/school being on vacation which means no second source of income and I haven't had a bonus in over 4 or 5 years (heck I can't even remember). But, we always seem to manage. We have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and food on the table. We are truly blessed. So, I won't complain (much).

This week's theme is: HOPING, ENJOYING, INSPIRED BY, LISTENING TO, CRAVING (by the way, you don't have to follow this theme, you can just share what you or your kiddos, or your family is currently up to).

Currently..I am:

Hoping that my grandfather pulls thru and recovers. I visited him at the hospital as soon as we could when we arrived in LA. I cried, but everyone assured me that he looks so much better these days and that he is somewhat coherent. I held his hands, kissed his forehead and just tried to be calm and not let all my thoughts collide with each other.

Enjoying this time I have with my family. It's the reason why I love the holidays. For some reason, being with them has me realize how much I miss them so. And then of course, after awhile, well you know..I'm ready for our home life back in Oakland.

Inspired by some posts in the blogging community for varying reasons. Like here and here and here..Oh I could go on!

Listening (in my head) to a David Bowie song (from my playlist the other day).

Craving (and looking forward to) all the comfort food that comes with this holiday season. Except that it will be at a restaurant :(


What are you all currently up to? Come share and link up here. I'd really like to know! (Cause I'm nosey like that!)

So, I hope you all try and link up too or if you don't have a blog, simply comment and let me know what you are up to. THANKS!

Raima is...

Reading.. *The Very Hungry Caterpillar. The classic book by Eric Carle. She likes sticking her finger in the little holes and turning pages and of course pointing.

Wishing.. that we would just let her walk back and forth (and back and forth) pushing her shopping cart (that used to be her brother's) all day (and thru the night) long.

Cooking.. play food (and other crap) in their play microwave.

Thankful..that she wasn't totally hurt today. She had a little spill and got a pretty nasty scrape. ON HER HEAD! She was at her daycare on a trip back from the park when it happened. It seems like Raima was able to unbuckle herself from the stroller. She has been fascinated by buckles and clasps and lids and is pretty good at getting things open and undone, apparently. (She is totally fine by the way. Though the scrape looks pretty nasty) - I'm just thankful she didn't hit her head or worse.(I don't even want to think about it.)

Currently I am..

Reading.. *Blog, Inc. - It was one of the gifts from my birthday (thank you). And actually some time tomorrow (Thursday 11/15) there will be a live chat about it here, if you want to check it out. My favorite part of the book is reading the interviews of established bloggers. It's nice to fantasize about being a successful and established blogger like the author or this mama, or this other mama. But with it takes a lot of work and time, and I don't think new bloggers realize this (ok, maybe they do). I think, as I did (do), we fantasize about the glamorous parts and not so much about the "actual" stuff, like the late nights and the constant thinking of and working on the blog. Since I have another (once full time) job, working on the blog is another full time job that I have to accomplish among everything else. But it's something that I truly enjoy. I like to (over) share my life and my mess (ups). I have a pretty good routine now and it usually involves Raima nursing to sleep on my lap (exactly as it is now) while I write out my thoughts and schedule posts. I still manage to spend at least 4-5 hours every night on my blog. But, I'm looking forward to my Mondays off to accomplish so much more and use my evenings to hang out with my husband instead (we have a very full dvr to get thru).

(you can go here to see the recorded "live" chat)

Wishing.. that I will find/get a new job. One that pays better or at least the same (there I go settling again) has great benefits and not just health, vision and or dental ones, but the benefits that come with working for a good sustainable company. One that builds relationships and connections rather than burn bridges. A company that I can standby and be proud to be a part of..is that too much to ask? (don't answer that)

Cooking.. lots of easy stuff, like fritattas for dinner, soups and homemade pizzas. Although, I did just roast a whole chicken last night (at like 8:50 PM!) because of a facebook post! The post reminded me that I had a thawed a whole chicken a couple of days ago, and that I probably should do something with it..I'm having it for lunch today but I'm a bit bummed that I didn't have the chance to make a gravy and some stuffing. What? too early for Thanksgiving fixins? I think not!

Thankful.. that despite all the mess that is happening in our lives right now (family in the hospital, reduced work hours, bills, etc) that my spirits are up.  That I continue to have faith and hold onto a strong desire to accomplish so much more than these negative things in my life. I am very thankful for all that I have..family, friends..and you guys (for serious).

Next weeks themes: Hoping, Enjoying, Inspired by, Listening to, Craving... 

So, tell me, what are you currently up to? Link up to these wonderful other blogs here:

*affiliate links, please see my disclosure policy for more details. Thank you!

I am loving my new (to me - it's refurbished) DSLR. I have wanted a DSLR for a long time but I could never justify the purchase. But turning 35 was enough justification for me this time around. Plus I figure if I'm going to be serious about this blog, than using my iphone for photos is just not good enough.  So, I went for it. You know, I used to study photography back in college - before digital was the craze. I have always loved photography. We actually have a pretty good collection of SLR cameras around here (some were passed down from family), plus a few polaroid ones. One of my fantasy jobs was to become a photojournalist at the time, so I took a lot of photography classes.

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving. My Dad and siblings have decided to come up here to spend it with us. Usually we make the 400 mile drive to visit both sides of our families (which means A LOT of driving. For Charlie.) but this year, since we have been driving down almost every month since like June, we decided that (well our pocket book did) we would spend Thanksgiving here and just drive down for Christmas instead. We've decided to fry the turkey this year - it will be our first time..any tips, if you've fried your turkey before? As in how to not cause a fire or an oil filled, only partially cooked bird?

I am cooking less because lately Raima's daycare provider has been graciously having us stay for dinner (WHAT?! I know, right?! ). She makes us all sorts of yummy goodness like albondigas soup (meatballs soup) and Mexican red posole (pork & hominy stew). This has been such a lifesaver for me (except Charlie has to fend for himself when he gets home!) and I hope to find a way to express my gratitude to her. She recently suffered a loss (her sister in law passed away) and is actually closed tomorrow and Friday so she can go and attend the services in Southern California.

I am catching whatever my kids have caught at their daycares respectively. Raima has a slight cold and Jax is starting to sound as though he's coming down with something too. Maybe  it's the change in weather? Last weekend it was HOT - even in SF! and then these past few days? COLD..gray, and gloomy - typical Bay Area weather though.

I am missing my mom...

Raima is currently loving to still crawl, even though she can walk. I guess she gets around faster that way and gives her less chances of being shoved by her brother. Raima is looking to nurse as she sits on my lap as I type this...

Jax is cooking up all sorts of mischief. He didn't want to dress in costume on Halloween but loved running around the house in his cape and mask for the weeks leading up to Halloween!

What are you currently up to? Link up and visit these other wonderful people here:
Next week's theme will be: Anticipating, Buying, Needing, Thinking, Ignoring...

Although I am so much more tired these days, what with the kids, the hubs, my job, my freelance design stuff, my hobbies and this wonderful blog - I am SO thankful to have this busy-ness...thankful for my kiddos, my husband, and you all (THANK YOU NEW FOLLOWERS! My Twitter has been blowin' up! hehe.ok it really isnt)

I am hopeful that this new job post I saw (GULP, the deadline to apply is the 31st!) will be the change I seek & need. I am thankful for the many friends I have to lean on when it comes to that (thank you for looking over my resumes, cover letters and questionnaires!) And Hubs - Remember to look it over today!!

I am thankful for the many things that I do have, even though on some days it seems like I have more struggles then I would like..but such is life, and life ain't supposed to be easy. But you know, it probably could be and  I just make it much more difficult (I can hear my husband's eyes just pop out. Yes, I did just say I make things more difficult but I didn't say I was wrong :P)

What are you thankful for? Go link up over at Mustache Mama.




Speaking of coffee, I need another cup!

Gone are the days of calling in sick because I partied way too much last night. Unless you count staying up till 9PM with your kids reading just. one. more. book. before bedtime, as partying. I’m glad I did them though and got it out of my system. I've really grown into who I am today because of my messy life back then. And I kinda like to "party" with my kids. These days, 11 pm may as well be 2 am and come 10:30 pm – that’s my last call for anything. I don’t know how I managed to work full time, go to school full time AND go out part time (who am I kidding, I went out full time – no wonder I was broke!).

I’m thankful that I have friends who are parents as well and or are just about to become one. Because I know that I will never have to explain myself, even though I feel the need to, when plans fall apart or come to an abrupt end. Most often it’s because a) my kid or kids are sick b) nap time started late or never even happened (look, I try and be flexible but we pay for it in the end) or c) I had a case of mom brain and just either forgot to include it on my calendar or mixed up the dates, or a mixed bag of everything happened. These days, it’s probably a good bet that if you want me to be somewhere – you let me know way ahead of time so I can write it down in several different places and continuously remind my husband about it, who will continue to forget up until the hour we gotta be out of the house.

Gone are the days of spontaneous visits from friends or to friends houses and or the casual lets go out to eat affair, just cause. But you know what? I'm ok with that. Well, it would be cool if people still dropped by on occasion but it's hard to do with kids, but maybe it doesn't have to be? Friends are wonderful, and I am so thankful for them - old friends, new friends and my mom friends :)

Currently...

I've been feeling motivated and full of hope and daydreaming a lot. A spark of creativity has been lit and it feels great. I've missed that feeling and am glad it's back. I also awoke with a sore throat this morning, but I am looking forward to this weekend so that I can do some reading and some crafting (My fabrics are supposed to be delivered today!).

I've been drinking. Yep, drinking, as in alcoholic beverages. There isn't a lot of times that I do drink but since last weekend what with my birthday brunch (a bloody mary), the surprise party (blue moon & even some bubbly) and last night's dinner out with a girlfriend of mine (white beer & an organic honey basil beer), I've been able to enjoy a couple of drinks here and there. But like I said before gone are those days of being a lush. Pretty much drinking 2 beers is like ensuring I will be giddy and completely honest with you..

I've been looking for ways to make my creative passions and dreams a reality. Or at least more of a reality. Or really, I'm kind of tired of my days spent working in an office - even though I enjoy what I do. I just am feeling..eh. Anyway, I recently applied and received my seller's permit, so now I can buy fabric and other items at wholesale and start making something (I guess that's the most important part - actually making something!). So, fingers crossed

I'm dreaming of taking a much needed vacation. I like to watch a lot of HGTV House Hunters International and the new Living Abroad series, to get a feel of countries I'd like to visit..I guess part of me (ok, all of me) is also dreaming about the possibility of moving to another country and living a life there for awhile or maybe even forever?

And while not yet currently making, I hope to be making some clutches this weekend and also reading the draping books that my very talented friend Cat got for my birthday! I'd like to also make this blog a little better and have been reading this book, that my friend Mathilde gave me for my birthday(..I really got all that I had wished and asked for on my birthday..like I said it was the best birthday EVER).

So, enough about me, what are you all thankful for and or Currently up to? Link up and tell us about it!




P.S. - I just found out about a blog conference that EVERYONE can attend - Online BlogCon. Go check it out - Hurry, last day to register is TOMORROW! Glad I found out about in time, thanks to - Craft, Interrupted.

OH. MY. GOSH! I got a phone call this morning from our property manager (and good friend) and because I was at work - I was not to, how do you say, cordial, inviting - just plain nice, when he said hello and asked how are you and all the niceties that one should be saying/asking/doing when you are speaking with someone (all I was thinking was - ok, what do you want..terrible.terrible..work does this to me!). and there really should be no excuse for that. Then when we did get to talking he says - hey, so, I got you guys a bigger fridge - would it be okay to enter your house and install it today? What?! (I immediately felt even more like a shitty person) YES! WHAT?! (head spinning) why? thank you...how come? He begins to explain how ridiculous it is for a family of four using the old small fridge we have (we make due with whatever we get!) and I am just in shock and am very very very thankful. THANK YOU! I wish I could have taken back those first few seconds when I answered the phone, and just - well, just have been more appreciative - in general. Without getting something in return. Being nice just to be nice, should be human nature. Especially when this is something I am trying to convey/teach my 3 year old kid. Ugh, again with the practicing what you preach--note to self - practice what you are preaching! duh!

So there, my first Thankful Thursday post..linking up from Mustache Mama (yes, a lovely sponsor - check her out. She also has an etsy shop, where I'm lovin' the wishbone necklace)



* Although Mustache Mama is a Sponsor (we did a swap :)). This is not a sponsored post..for full disclosure policy, please click here.