No it's not like that really..I had to rent a Canon 5D Mark III for a recent wedding I second shot this past weekend and tried it out a couple of days before the big day - since I shoot with a Nikon primarily, I wanted to be completely familiar with the camera by the wedding date. It finally gave me a chance to see what all the hub bub was about though. It took me a bit to get used to the controls but everyone was right - there really is something about Canon colors and just its overall effect on the images that I can't really put my finger on it. It's sort of dreamy? I don't know what it is...but, the auto focusing - man that is a bummer. Apparently it's an improvement over the AF on Canon. My Nikon is just SO MUCH FASTER..and even with that sometimes I use manual focusing on my lenses (actually my 85 1.4 is a manual focus lens) - anyway, I know this should be for my photography blog too but I just can't keep up with all of my blogs anymore. I just need to choose one! or two...

Anyway, the above images are taken with the Canon 5D Mark III & an 85mm 1.2L (except the last image the lens was a 50mm 1.2L). Previous blog images posted here would have used my usual camera which is the Nikon D600 & most likely my beloved nifty fifty - 50mm 1.8G

(the wedding photos, you'll have to wait or go see it on my actual photo blog when I get to blog about them!).

Click on images to view larger

Lots and lots happening. Sometimes a little too fast and a little too much. Seriously, when "they" say: be careful what you wish for...they really mean it. I've been struggling with the decision to quit or at least go part time at my desk job (and fantasizing and thinking oh if only this were to happen or if that - it'll be a sign) and just when I decide I was going to give it my all again at the desk job while still pursing my dreams because this was the best and smartest plan/route for my family right now..this did happened and definitely that happened too..I don't know. I'm pretty tied up in knots right now. I really don't know what to do.

It really makes sense to stick to my job for now, and to continue burning the midnight (and 2 am) oil working on making my dreams a reality. I started reading this book called Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job & Your Dream Job by Jon Acuff, and it's pretty good so far, so we shall see..

This is where I start to really get down on myself and think - wow, I really wasted a good decade of my life partying and or doing a lot of failed attempts at what I wanted for myself because I either wasn't valuing myself and got all mixed up with a boy and figured out all too late that - saving money would be good. I always hated money, but probably because I never had it. I never emphasized the need or importance of money because I know that what's important can't be bought - but you know, money sure does help on a lot of things. Of course my family is important, but the roof over our heads is pretty important too, not to mention the food on our table, the clothes on our backs etc..

Sigh..anyway, it's all good. I mean, these are good problems (sort of). It always could be worse and I'm pretty sure someone else out there with worse is doing better so it doesn't help to wallow and spend my energy on what I can't do, what I can't control. That's just a waste of valuable time. It's not a road block, it's just new terrain.

Anyway...I have an old post I've been meaning to publish - have you all heard of the liebster award? I've heard of it but also knew it wasn't really an award, per se, I mean - what are you awarded with? Anyway, I've been meaning to write about it and at least keep my end of the deal..

*One of the links is an affiliate link, if you click on the link it will direct you to the amazon page where, if you choose to purchase, I will get a (very small) percentage for leading you to that site and you purchasing. You're price does not change due to this affiliate link.

I know I've been a little MIA but it's been hard to do everything with the little bit of "free" time I have. If you haven't already, you can find some updates here - but that usually only involves photography & business related stuff.

"A portrait of my family, once a week, every week {sort of} in 2013."

"A portrait of my family, once a week, every week, in 2013"

Wow, is it really already the 5th week? that can't be right.

Jax: Has been such a little boy lately. The conversations these kids have with each other and with us - it's funny, surprising and sometimes a little shocking - they really are growing up!

Raima: Her personality has been coming out full force lately. She is a goofball and will perform when you ask her to. She loves to make you smile and laugh. She also likes to bug her big brother and start a whining contest. I need to start transitioning her out of our bed and into sharing a room with Jax...sigh..growing up, I tell ya..growing up...

So, let's see what else.. lots going on in the Wagner household. Ok, not really. I did our taxes, that's one thing that is done and DONE! A couple of years ago we got a really big refund, which yes is great and all but in actuality not really. That means you've given your money up for a free loan to the government during the year, when really you could of kept more of your money throughout that year for yourself instead. If you ever get a large refund, you should probably adjust your W4 witholdings - but hey, I'm not a tax expert or a CPA - so take my not real advice with a grain of salt. After that refund, I made sure to adjust our W4s - we still did get a refund but not a huge one. At first when I was doing it (I use turbo tax, by the way) it said I owed money - YIPES!

So, it's SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!! And the San Francisco 49ers are in it! In case you were wondering..so you bet we will be watching - we would not be SF Bay area folk if we didn't. We had been invited to a couple of kid friendly parties which was great. we at first were going to go to our friends who we helped celebrate their son's first birthday - and where I got to take lots of photos! YAY! but then we got invited to another one and these folks we hadn't seen in well over a year! their littlest isnt so little anymore and well it was also closer..so, yeah, i know, im lame. sorry for not typing this out using correct capitalization but im nursing as i type this so..it will have to do.

What else? Oh yeah, so I have some photo session clients lined up - and I am SUPER EXCITED!! Some birth photography and a family session! WOOT! And it was all because of me taking the leap of faith and ignoring my fears and reaching out to people I knew. I really owe it to Nova Midwifery (who were my midwives for both of my kids homebirths) who posted on their facebook page about my photography stuff. SO THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

I guess I may owe them another baby to catch...just kidding..

Visit the other wonderful bloggers on this 52 Portrait a week project and add your own!

"A portrait of my family, once a week, every week, in 2013."

I seem to always take out my camera during bath time. I missed the posting of this 4th week..so, I'm posting it now. If you haven't yet, take a look at others who are participating in the 52 portrait a week project, over at Che & Fidel blog here. There is also still time to link up with your very own!