present..
7:00 AM
I'm trying to be more present, more aware and less focused on yesterday or tomorrow. less lazy in my ways and thinking. do more now than saving for later.
im usually a home body and i can become lazy and latch on to an idea of - "but it's just easier to stay home and do nothing." which then turns into some sort of complaining. anyway, charlie just signed up to be part of his school/work's softball league and tonight (last night) was their first practice. earlier in the day, i had the brilliant idea to have all of us go and watch him practice and also play at the park but the sooner it got to the end of my day at my desk job, all i wanted to do was go home and not do anything. not think, not move, nuthin. you see? lazy. while i knew it would be fun for all, all i could think of was the worse case scenarios - like: it will be too late, i won't be able to handle the kids by myself at the playground, i will be bored, i will get hungry, the kids will have a melt down..anyway, you catch my drift - total debbie downer.
but i pushed myself to not think about it and just go. we had dinner (charlie made some salmon burgers w/ pineapple, salad with homemade garlic parm dressing - YUM!) then got the kids ready to go and brought my camera too, even though i wasnt all gung ho about bringing it (i know, what is wrong with me?!).
and let me tell you, i am SO glad i pushed my unease and went along. because not only did i get some pretty good photos of seemingly ordinary things, the park that the practice was at is the park that raima's former daycare provider used to take her to AND on the way there - guess who texts me?! yep, raima's former daycare provider! so it was serendipitous - we all got to play and raima and cande got to see each other. it was really special.
this weekend I have a full schedule - on saturday, i have a family session in the morning, then a going away party (for Jax's bff at his daycare) immediately after and also a newborn session in the afternoon all the way in vacaville (it's about 50 mins away! - did i mention i hate driving?). THEN on sunday, (shit, i just realized i forgot to make a gift!) we have a birthday party out in pleasanton DURING their regularly scheduled naptimes. we're going to suck it up, so we shall see...ok. i should get to bed before the kids wake up...oh and so day 3 is going well -I even was the one to put Raima down in her bed, in their room!! what what! :)
Happy weekend everyone...enjoy the present!! it is a gift - (trombone sound...wah wah..)
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