i slipped out of bed this morning, dreading the day ahead of me. making sure to be quiet to not wake my babies (that includes my husband). lots of ideas swirling in my head about this, that and the other. difficult things, like my dreams, my passions, work, money, the future. i quietly stepped onto the cold ceramic tiled floors of our bathroom to mull things over as i brushed my teeth and stared off at my reflection.

i got dressed, kissed my husband and attempted to de-ice my car as i headed into the office this morning (oh and i realized we had left the car unlocked the entire weekend). i'm here at my desk. the only person at work, it seems.

last night, i joked with my husband about quitting my desk job (i call it that now - a desk job, nothing more, nothing less - sad really). it wasn't really a joke per se, but it was a loaded thought - a scary yet freeing one. but i know i can't, not yet anyway. i really want to pursue my creative endeavors (my web/graphic design & my photography - gulp, please be kind!). my whole life, i had dreamed of making my passion the job that would pay the bills. i've always been envious of people i knew, who were doing what they had intended on doing - working in tv/film, being a musician, a dancer, an artist, a photographer, etc. of course, none of these people i knew back then (and now) have kids..and i knew them before i had any real responsibilities of my own. and some of them, i know don't in fact think they are living the dream. they still have complaints just like the rest of us. a very true case of the grass is always greener..

anyway..i don't know what 2013 has in store for the wagners, but i do know that i will continue to dream, to hope, have faith, to believe, to push myself even further, to thrive and if all else fails, to simply survive. i foresee many changes on this very blog of mine, and i hope that you will bear with me. for one, as you may have noticed - i am not using proper punctuations nor capitalizing sentences anymore  - i used to do that a lot on my old blog because it was easier to type and you know what? it is, so i'm going to do that from now on - or at least when i am at my desk job. so, you'll know when i've typed this at my work. it'll be something you and i will know (wink wink). if you start seeing some capitalization in my sentences then maybe i switched or updated and started re-typing it when i got home and had time to actually edit my sentences.

so, good bye 2012 - with your ups and downs, your joys, love, fear, happiness, life & deaths...i hope i've learned enough from you to not repeat any of the nasty stuff in 2013. if i haven't, well, i hope you'll be gentle with me. i am only human.

from my family to yours - may this new year bring you the joys that the past year couldn't, the happiness that was yet to be had, the fortune that you deserve, the love you've always had and then some. may this new year bring you so much that 2012 couldn't..Happy New Year!

much love,
cherlyn