I had a little moment yesterday with Jax. It was one of the first times I've ever been completely frustrated with (my expectations of) Jax. Where I said a few things I wish I could take back. Nothing serious, just useless junk I never wanted to say to my kid. Like, after a few minutes of chasing him around my car and begging him to get into his car seat and then quickly having to remove him from his car seat because he hit me so hard that my glasses flew off and hit the pavement. Then him proceeding to run down the sidewalk/driveways and me fearing the worst (cars not seeing him, him just ...), I finally catch up to him and just scoop him up tightly and almost forcibly put him in his car seat. He cries (more like whines) of course, but I am able to buckle him in. During this whole episode, I'm trying to remain calm and talk to him gently and suggest things and try to redirect but nothing seemed to be working. I finally get in the car to start driving and I told him, I needed some space and that I didn't feel like talking to him. Which is when he said there was a bug inside the car, on his window. And to which I said, good so that bug can proceed to bite him and eat him. He then said it was gone. Which I then replied, well maybe it will come back tonight when you are sleeping. Sure, it's funny now..but not really. Especially considering after we did have a moment of silence, he then proceeded to apologize and said - Mommy, I love you. I'm not going to run around the car at Annie's (his daycare) anymore and I promise not to hit you. Are you sad? I'm sorry, mommy. I love you. And so, I reached behind my seat to grab his hand and we held it for awhile. Which is why I felt (and still feel) terrible. Just terrible. When we got to Raima's daycare, I gave him a great big hug and he asked to be carried into the house.

I definitely think it's time for a one on one toddler date. Perhaps this Friday.

What about you? Have you ever gotten to that point? I'm sure I've gotten almost there before but I've never been so frustrated that I've said mean things, even if those mean things were silly (to us adults) but to a 3 year old, it's just plain mean.