No amount of books (even though I read a whole lot!), advice - solicited or not - is going to completely prepare someone on becoming a parent until it actually happens. Until it's just all there- in your face- the crying, the demands, the poop, the puke, the cute, the joy, and the chaos. Until baby is there, until it's all very real. And very real is most often very different than in the books. It's not that the books play up the sugar and spice and everything nice bit (boys are these things too by the way), ok they do a bit but it's really not easily put into words. There is no single recipe that magically answers it all for every parent and that works for every child. But some of these books, the advice, and the blogs do offer a sense of comradery (or is it camaraderie). It really helps to know that you are not alone and that other people are going through (or have gone through & survived) the mixed emotions and the chaos as well as all the good stuff. It's amazing how a little human being can set your heart instantly at ease as well as send you off into crazy panic and all sorts of discomfort often within a few hours of each other. Although I think there can be a little bit of information overload and one can start to doubt themselves and their own instincts. I know I do at times, especially when I start comparing myself and my children. It's much easier said than done, to not compare at all. But sometimes through those comparisons, I find myself readjusting things to suit my needs and family - so sometimes, its good. It adds to my parenting arsenal the experiences of other parents.

Anyway, I don't remember where I was getting at with this post but motherhood, or parenting, as they say, is not for the faint of heart. I don't admit to knowing any of the answers. I definitely don't know what I'm doing sometimes, but my kids seem to be good and doing ok. They survive each day with me and tell me they love me. They know who I am despite me going to work 8 hours out of their day. And at the end of the day - it's them who matters most. But I know how hard it is to tune others out. You just have to give yourself a break sometimes and throw your hands up in the air, take a breath and jump into the support from family, friends and the parenting community that is available - because in the end we are all just trying to be the best parents we can be.

Photo credit: Beto Lopez

My dear friend Rosalyn, gave birth to her first baby, a boy, this past week. So Happy Birthday Alileo Roger Acosta and Happy Birth giving day to you Roz!

The playlist on grooveshark is having a little hiccup (redesigning? for a pay service, perhaps? I'm not sure. Could just be me though.) but if you wanted to have a listen to what I did line up, you can go to this link. Then there is this other music site. I originally found out about it from Inspired to Share. If you've never been to Colleen's site, you should head on over there. I had bookmarked it specifically for her dream job series. I'm glad I found it again. Man, I really need to get thru all 67+ blogs on my reader!

(*Update: I got it to work :) it just took a little finagling)


Anyway, 8tracks is free and they say it's like a curated pandora, but I haven't had time to fully check the site out. There is also Rdio (our friend's husband works there) but in order to be able to listen to the playlist I create, you will have to be an Rdio subscriber, which you can get a free trial to. Most tech folks say that it's a bit better than spotify on some areas, if you haven't checked them out yet, you should. Maybe it's the music streaming service you were looking for? Me - I still listen to records and pandora (sorry Brett) because it's free. Right now, money is tight or rather nonexistent (damn it I just remembered I need to pay for my DMV registration).

I also wanted to share some sites I have on my reader. Maybe check the links out this week, if you haven't been already:

• Modern Parents, Messy Kids - A good & varied site of parenting/life topics. I found them awhile back before their re-design, when I was looking at how to organize the chaos and found this. (And Randalin, I think you should write them to include your montessori posts for their series.)
• Closet Visit - think the Selby but in people's closets!
• House of Habit - which is where I originally found the above site from.
• The Glow - again, like the Selby except having to do with mothers but very different from my reality of motherhood.
• The Longest Shortest Time - A blog about the truth of early motherhood by Hillary Frank. Her radio work has aired on This American Life, Morning Edition, and All Things Considered, just to name a few. (I was actually interviewed by her! My 15 mins of fame was a long while ago tho. But if you want to share your story about parenting, please contact her!)

Have a wonderful week! Happy Monday!