i told my work today. well, i wrote an email to my boss and supervisor and in the midst of writing the emails i was in tears. 1) because its still really early in the pregnancy and i am terrified that i will have to take it all back from all the people we told and it will be heart wrenching. 2) i was terrified that their reaction would be far from what I had hoped for. and 3) doing so kind of makes this all more real and scary. oh my goodness, I am having a baby! but wait, why does anything have to change? oh, yeah right..im gonna be huge not too many months from now and pop a baby the size of a watermelon out of a hole a size of a lemon, great, wonderful.

i was eagerly anticipating their replies. and sure enough there they were sitting in my inbox. and my boss was great, so supportive. he is also father to a 10 year old. and he told me to tell charles (thats what he calls him) to enjoy sleeping while he can cause after the next few months there will be a gap of 18 to 20 years where a full night's sleep is only a memory. he said that not to worry about work and that the only thing that was important was my well being. it was a wonderful reply. then there was my supervisor's his was supportive too but a lot less emotional than my boss' but that is just typical of my supervisor. he congratulated me and told me not to worry about how work will be because of the news, but thanked me for letting him know earlier on so that we can prepare for it better.

i love my job, i love the people i work with and work for so it was important to me to have that support especially with the economy these days. and cw and i already knew i would be the bread winner so being a stay at home mom wasn't an option for us, and it isn't something i would have been completely happy with, not that being home with my baby isn't appealing to me or that my career is more important, it's just i'm too independent to stay at home. but if it paid well, damn straight i would be at home. don't get me wrong, i know very well that taking care of a baby is a lot of work, like a whole lot, work that you can not be completely prepared for nor is their training or diplomas to get to do this sort of work. but lucky for baby and me, cw has decided to be the one to stay at home to do the work while i'm at work (which is a mere 2 miles away). and its not like i work ridiculous hours and would be unable to spend time with my family. i usually get home at 5 and have plenty of time to catch up. this would only be until we could put the kid to a preschool and daddy would be able to get back to getting his teaching credentials. after much talk with cw, he has assured me that this is what he wants to do, what is best and what we can afford. after all the most expensive thing about a baby is childcare.

anyway, so we had a lot of blood work done today as cw stated. our real first prenatal visit will be on February 11th - i will be about 9.5 weeks by then! we also interviewed a midwife today, 1 of 2 we will be interviewing. I liked her and so did cw, despite the fact that she was a few minutes late, she was mellow.

okay that was enough excitement for one day, i'm off for another nap or a little csi:ny.