Lately I have just been exhausted. more so than usual, since i am a naturally lazy person. i also get this sense sometimes that i am still going to get my period. you girls will understand this. its that feeling in your insides, your pelvic region and the insides of your thighs - you know that feeling you get right before you are about to get good ol aunt flow? anyway, i get that sometimes and it scares me. then i get nightmares where i wake up with blood all over. i definitely have to get up at night to go pee. and i hate that. i always try and push it off but i cant. and it is always around the same time - like 4 am.

cw and i finished watching the business of being born last night. i had read about it before or merely skimmed it over and heard about it. anyway, even before watching the movie i always knew i wanted a home birth. even though i am totally somewhat anti-hippie, its something i always wanted since the first time i watched a home birth film (from the 70's no less) in college. scary and beautiful at the same time, and all in the comfort of your home surrounded only by the people who will love that baby. anyway, i would suggest that film or even looking into birthing centers if you want to get the low down on it all. i mean just think about it? if you aren't sick, why go to the hospital to give birth? being pregnant is NOT a sickness people. obviously if you have a high risk pregnancy your choice is limited because complications of the birth are expected and the hospital is probably youre only choice. anyway, ill not get into it at the moment.

so, i have contacted 2 midwife practices and a birthing center in oakland. home births cost about $4000 - $5000. All of it, from prenatal visits to even post partum care (except lab work - which can cost a shit load). not bad though, i think cw and i can swing that. we just have a lot of saving up to do.