"A portrait of my family, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Jax still loves trains, which surprises me. For Christmas, Jax got a new train set from his cousin, who has many perks working at a toy store. You know, like working on "black friday"-fun! She has lots of stories about those times. Anyway, for a few days since we got back from our Christmas vacation, we actually didn't let Jax open this present because he was having a difficult time adjusting back to our normal routines and we didn't want to reward that sort of behavior. Recently, he's made some improvements - vast to him, I'm sure, while to us - well - we foolishly expect more, but hey, he's 3!

Since it's the start of the new year, it's only natural to be reflecting on what one has gone through and achieved in the past year. People come up with new year's resolutions and new projects. I'm not one for  announcing my full resolutions, cause I feel like there is more pressure that way! but there are those who are much braver than I, like the following mamas:

So there you have it, one more project to add to my list ;) but this should be an okay one to handle since I share photos with you all already and they always happen to be of my family! What about you guys? Wanna join & link up? Go here.



Happy Sunday!

i slipped out of bed this morning, dreading the day ahead of me. making sure to be quiet to not wake my babies (that includes my husband). lots of ideas swirling in my head about this, that and the other. difficult things, like my dreams, my passions, work, money, the future. i quietly stepped onto the cold ceramic tiled floors of our bathroom to mull things over as i brushed my teeth and stared off at my reflection.

i got dressed, kissed my husband and attempted to de-ice my car as i headed into the office this morning (oh and i realized we had left the car unlocked the entire weekend). i'm here at my desk. the only person at work, it seems.

last night, i joked with my husband about quitting my desk job (i call it that now - a desk job, nothing more, nothing less - sad really). it wasn't really a joke per se, but it was a loaded thought - a scary yet freeing one. but i know i can't, not yet anyway. i really want to pursue my creative endeavors (my web/graphic design & my photography - gulp, please be kind!). my whole life, i had dreamed of making my passion the job that would pay the bills. i've always been envious of people i knew, who were doing what they had intended on doing - working in tv/film, being a musician, a dancer, an artist, a photographer, etc. of course, none of these people i knew back then (and now) have kids..and i knew them before i had any real responsibilities of my own. and some of them, i know don't in fact think they are living the dream. they still have complaints just like the rest of us. a very true case of the grass is always greener..

anyway..i don't know what 2013 has in store for the wagners, but i do know that i will continue to dream, to hope, have faith, to believe, to push myself even further, to thrive and if all else fails, to simply survive. i foresee many changes on this very blog of mine, and i hope that you will bear with me. for one, as you may have noticed - i am not using proper punctuations nor capitalizing sentences anymore  - i used to do that a lot on my old blog because it was easier to type and you know what? it is, so i'm going to do that from now on - or at least when i am at my desk job. so, you'll know when i've typed this at my work. it'll be something you and i will know (wink wink). if you start seeing some capitalization in my sentences then maybe i switched or updated and started re-typing it when i got home and had time to actually edit my sentences.

so, good bye 2012 - with your ups and downs, your joys, love, fear, happiness, life & deaths...i hope i've learned enough from you to not repeat any of the nasty stuff in 2013. if i haven't, well, i hope you'll be gentle with me. i am only human.

from my family to yours - may this new year bring you the joys that the past year couldn't, the happiness that was yet to be had, the fortune that you deserve, the love you've always had and then some. may this new year bring you so much that 2012 couldn't..Happy New Year!

much love,
cherlyn

Thanks Amy for the photos!

2010 is eek, TOMORROW and as I look back and reflect on the roller coaster ride that was my 2009, i cant help but feel that it was still an amazing yet exhausting year. Life is full of ups and downs. I experienced the very essence of each within months of each other.

I hope this new year will be loaded with new and great experiences of joy, love, laughter and all the nuggets in between.

Lets see, this past year:

- i got pregnant

- got married

- lost my mom

- became a mom

- had friends move to another state

- and became the sole breadwinner of my family

because this is still a new transition, the effects of living off of a single income hasnt been felt yet. but by this time next year, i am sure we will know the somewhat rewarding yet ugly truth of it.

and what exactly are we going to do tonight? two weeks ago, i had high hopes of actually going out and celebrating. and then the reality of it started to sink in. which only had me feel even more tired. the planning part was exhausting. cw's mom was gonna be up visiting and taking care of jax. looking around for events and then realizing that i would probably never make it passed 10 o' clock (11, if im lucky, and 9 if wine is involved!) helped me decide on NOT spending more than 25 bucks a person. and then thinking about how tired i would be even if i did go out and listened to music, helped me decide on just watching a movie. so it was settled, we were gonna watch a movie. but then this morning, as the 8 hour total sleep i got in the past two days sunk in, i thought - hey, how about SLEEP? we can do that for 3 hours straight, right? and still have cw's mom watch jax. still, its more stressful than stress reducing. i still have to prepare for being away, like trying topump an extra bottle - just in case. but then im afraid of jax being overfed just so his fussiness could be controlled. and then fearing my boobs will cry for mercy at the end of the movie. and then and then..oh just shut it and enjoy yourself cherlyn.

Have a HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! I hope this new year will bring in more...SLEEP, oh and you know all the other good stuff.

* yes, i know the one photo doesnt necessarily reflect 2009 but hey, i just needed to show myself as a baby since the end of 2009 is when i started to feel like the year i became an adult.

**Oh, and ps. its a blue moon tonight! Blue moon, now im no longer alone...