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Lots and lots happening. Sometimes a little too fast and a little too much. Seriously, when "they" say: be careful what you wish for...they really mean it. I've been struggling with the decision to quit or at least go part time at my desk job (and fantasizing and thinking oh if only this were to happen or if that - it'll be a sign) and just when I decide I was going to give it my all again at the desk job while still pursing my dreams because this was the best and smartest plan/route for my family right now..this did happened and definitely that happened too..I don't know. I'm pretty tied up in knots right now. I really don't know what to do.

It really makes sense to stick to my job for now, and to continue burning the midnight (and 2 am) oil working on making my dreams a reality. I started reading this book called Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job & Your Dream Job by Jon Acuff, and it's pretty good so far, so we shall see..

This is where I start to really get down on myself and think - wow, I really wasted a good decade of my life partying and or doing a lot of failed attempts at what I wanted for myself because I either wasn't valuing myself and got all mixed up with a boy and figured out all too late that - saving money would be good. I always hated money, but probably because I never had it. I never emphasized the need or importance of money because I know that what's important can't be bought - but you know, money sure does help on a lot of things. Of course my family is important, but the roof over our heads is pretty important too, not to mention the food on our table, the clothes on our backs etc..

Sigh..anyway, it's all good. I mean, these are good problems (sort of). It always could be worse and I'm pretty sure someone else out there with worse is doing better so it doesn't help to wallow and spend my energy on what I can't do, what I can't control. That's just a waste of valuable time. It's not a road block, it's just new terrain.

Anyway...I have an old post I've been meaning to publish - have you all heard of the liebster award? I've heard of it but also knew it wasn't really an award, per se, I mean - what are you awarded with? Anyway, I've been meaning to write about it and at least keep my end of the deal..

*One of the links is an affiliate link, if you click on the link it will direct you to the amazon page where, if you choose to purchase, I will get a (very small) percentage for leading you to that site and you purchasing. You're price does not change due to this affiliate link.

Sorry for the somber post yesterday. Like I said, it's a very emotional/bittersweet time for me. Anyway..My Mother's day was pretty plain but pretty awesome.

I got out of bed at 11 am. Yes, you read that right. ELEVEN AM!! WHAT?! I woke up to breakfast being made and coffee ready for me and a handmade card from my loves that of course had me cry. 

We spent the day lounging, being lazy and with no schedules (except for the nap schedules, of course!). Charlie blew up our kiddie pool (my birth pool, actually - quite fitting for the day, don't you think?) and had a little pool time with the kids while I read some magazines (it has been forever since I could do that, uninterrupted) and had my coffee outside - and took pictures.

Hope you all had a lovely Sunday and a wonderful Mother's Day!

But hey, it's something isn't it?

Spent a little time at a pool this weekend. I thought the kids would have loved it a lot more than they did..but in the end we all had a great time and I got to see an old friend, I haven't seen in a while. Always good to reconnect. Hope you all had a lovely weekend.

and with more photos! i've been meaning to get back to blogging more (again) and actually have charlie blog more too :) after all this started out as our journey into parenthood. with that said..here are some images that depict classic dad behavior.

i saved you from seeing the in between shots of this series. you're welcome - but seriously, just look at the joy on her face!

also here are some other photos, of an attempt to re-create a sort of engagement photo - since charlie and i never really had a long engagement or took any sort of engagement photos. anyway so we tried it out trying to take photos of each other and then on the tripod. it was really hard to get good enough photos this way - when no one is directing you and paying attention to all the little details that actually do matter. like that sliver of light in her face. standing a little bit taller, face this way just a smidge and most importantly - relax your face, your mouth, think about love, let's wait for this kid to pass by, ok hold her again...yeah just like that. (in my photo sessions, i usually talk and direct a lot)..so suffice to say, we'll need a do over. that day it was also wayyy windy and a SUPER bright/hot sunny day -still, it was still a lot of fun and a great way to have spent some of our anniversary date together sans kids.


and here was one image of us I did *like:

I brought out my camera again during bath time. Probably because, it's one of the only times I get to/need to slow down and take it all in and pay attention-for obvious reasons. Surprisingly, this time around, Jax was very willing to have his photograph taken. Usually now, he's just about had it with me & my camera.

Raima has been doing great at Jax's daycare and we've just received word that she can start full time sooner than we all thought! Since she's only 19 months and not quite 2 yet, the part time care was sort of a trial run to see how she would do amongst the older kids. Thankfully, she's been doing great!

In other news, operation get the kids sharing a room is still..quite an operation. But we're chugging along.

Bills bills bills. Again, still chugging along and surviving. Our grocery bill is a little higher now since Charlie's crossed over to the dark side and has started eating poultry. But it sure makes dinner time much easier on me. I may have to look at getting a crock pot to do one pot recipes.

Lets see, what else: in my photography biz news, things are coming along. I have many 20 hour nights where I work non stop and what very little spare time I have, try and juggle it with my family and my business. But that's ok. I don't mind putting in the work (and thankful that i have the support & help from Charlie) because I'm learning a lot and getting better each day. I have some personal projects in the works and plan on going to galleries in hopes of possibly getting exhibited. So, we'll see. My day job- same ol same ol...but I shouldn't complain. It provides me with flexibility, insurance for my family and even business experience. I'm thankful, cause I know it could be a lot worse and I could have a lot more excuses.

Anyway, I'll shut up now..here are some photos:

I had to throw in a color image - but I think that image is still startling in some way that I can't quite put my finger on? Could be just the green tint of our bathroom, though. Probably could use better color correction, but I kinda like it as it is. What do you think?

Hopefully you all are having a wonderful weekend, and some of us can sleep a little better at night. I know we've all been reading and or listening to the news lately on very important and scary things, like gun control and background checks and of course - Boston..So hold on to your families, be grateful for what you have now and take some time to slow down and take it all in..until next time folks...my love to you all!

"a portrait of my family, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Raima: Is loving bath time these days. It's great since it was only a few months ago she hated taking a bath and water in general. Nowadays, you can't keep her out of the bath tub. Now the only problem is getting her out!

Jax: We're still experiencing some difficult nights with Jax but it has certainly gotten better. Today he got to spend some fun times with his "classmates" at a football party (woot! Niners! thrown by the parents, while I was at a photo shoot (photos of that will be here, soon).

I wanted to let you guys know of this photo project that a friend of mine is doing. He's planning on sending out a postcard a day of his photography. Check out the site here, and if you guys wanna receive one, sign up over here.

There is also this other weekly project I stumbled upon - check it out!

And remember, you can still join in on the 52, a portrait a week project. Link up here:

Hi! I wanted to introduce you guys to a couple of last month's sponsors. Usually, what I like to do is if you've bought (or swapped) a sponsor spot for the month, I'll do two shout outs. One, the month that you sign up and second, the month after your ad has expired, so that way you get a little bit more exposure! I know I didn't do an introduction at the beginning of October, and I do apologize for that. I am working on getting a full sponsor shout out post.

By the way, I am still accepting sponsor swaps, so if you are interested in getting in on the November action (remember to vote! sorry, had to plug that in there somehow) click on the advertise page ..so without further ado:

Meet Nicole, she blogs over at Me + the Moon. I first "met" Nicole, when starting up my blog again and found her Friday Blog hop - which is on every other Friday {make sure to head over there to link up! It's still on for another 12 hours!}

Oh and I got to ask her a couple of questions too:

1. How has your style changed since becoming a mom, if it has changed at all?


2. How do you give yourself some much needed "me" time?


 Please visit their sites to see their side of the world...Hope you all have a lovely Sunday!

Source: The Trouble with Tribbles by Edward Gorey.

I really wanted to do a whole lot this weekend but it didn't happen. I still have this nasty head cold and I'm just useless in this state. I need a nap, but each opportunity was meet with lethargy. I know, you would think I would just pass out but even taking a nap, was somewhat difficult for me.

Laundry was taken care of and folded, but not put away yet. I didn't even make my bed this morning. That should have been an indication right there that this day was just going to amount to a whole lotta nothing.

Jax ran into his room and I followed behind him with Raima. He asked, please can you close the light (he is after all half Filipino). I obliged. He jumped on his bed and quickly took refuge under the covers. I thought, smart kid. I want to crawl under the covers too. So I joined him along with his sister. We giggled, snuggled and just were a pile of laziness. I told him he had a really comfy bed. He said, well thank you. I like my bed. I like your bed too, I replied.

I didn't want this moment to end. I was hoping that I could nurse Raima to sleep and Jax would take a much needed second nap, since his first was a mere figment and it showed. I closed my eyes for a mere second to savor this moment with my kids. I have a love hate relationship with Sundays. It's one of those days where we have a whole lot of nothing happen, except chores, if they get done at all. But it's also the last day of our weekend. So, when 7:30 rolls around, I get a little sad that my weekend is almost over.

Today definitely catered itself to some melancholy. I finally made the bed though, it just took me 10 hours before getting to it. The kitchen is a mess as is every other room in this house. I just give in. As a fellow mom once told me, embrace the chaos.

{{Chaos}} Let's do this.


Ps. I'm starting to get somewhat behind on posts but I do have a lot lined up for you. Hoping to get to it this week. Bear with me :)

So, I turned 35 today- the 15th. THIRTY FIVE! and so far its been great...last year, I didn't really have a great birthday - it sort of unfolded as if it were straight from - Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I left my phone, lost my wallet (but found it), got separated from my husband and one of my kids, and then when we did find each other and thought, phew ok..let's get home and maybe go out to eat dinner. We were met with a very very flat tire. Womp womp. We waited for an hour for a tow guy (we had a spare but we didn't have a jack!), but all in all, it was fine, afer the ordeal.....it puts things in perspective. it could have been worse, I know.

Anyway, I digress...so on Sunday this is how things unfolded: I did not want to get up. It felt as if it was sooo early still but it was already 9 am (my hubby let me sleep in, YAY!). He had gone to pick up some produce earlier but we were still out of milk so he said he would need to go out again and would bring Jax with him while Raima would stay with me. An hour goes by and I'm starting to get hangry...another 15 minutes go by and now I'm starting to get annoyed. Raima isn't willing to stay in her pack n play or play by herself while I make myself something or start getting breakfast ready for all of us. I text my friend who was going to take me out for a birthday brunch and a mani-pedi later in the day, how pissed off I am that Charlie isn't back yet - like, doesn't he know its my freakin bday weekend!? ugh..typical, I thought. She responded with a simple :D..I told her I couldn't wait for our girl time..

By the time Charlie got back, I needed to get ready to go. I made breakfast for them and coffee for me. In hindsight, I was acting like a temperamental toddler. Stomping about, talking under my breath, slamming refrigerator doors, until I realized, doing so would probably ruin our new fridge and flashes of our old fridge came to mind, so I quickly stopped that. I was pissing and moaning at all these groceries he just picked up and was annoyed, since it didn't seem necessary to have bought all these things. We only needed milk and bread. That was all that I was anticipating he was going to buy. So it should have been a quick trip to the groceries. AND he forgot the bread! I asked him if he got bread and he said no, which then Jax came out and said - yeah, daddy, we got bread. He tells Jax, no we didn't..they go back and forth on this issue but I didn't see any bread so I'm still my pissy pissy self. Oh expectations! Grrr...

Anyway, I get ready, actually put make up on (red lips!), jewelry (this lovely necklace) and do my hair (had to dust off the ol hair dryer of mine)! My friend picks me up and she's lookin like a hot mama too! All is good..I hug my kids, kiss and apologize to my husband...and off we go!

I was having a lovely time with the ladies..I started to feel bad that I didn't include some other girlfriends of mine but hey, this wasn't my planning so.... Got our nails did and headed to a place I had wanted to try for awhile to grab some lunch. Good food, great company and strong drinks! We had to walk around a little bit before we could drive back...(or wait, was that part of the stalling?)
           

We got back to my house around 3 since my friend said she needed to get back to her family and I all of a sudden realized I hadn't texted to see if the kiddos were still napping. Charlie was outside and met us, grabbed my hand and walked us thru the house, he was speaking in a whisper so I thought uh-oh, maybe the kids were still sleeping, I didn't see them while we walked thru the house though...and as I reached the top of our stairs that lead to our backyard...SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was in tears in like 3 seconds. My backyard was filled with friends I hadn't seen in a long while. Some friends who are expecting and made it out to the east bay instead of staying in on a their lazy Sunday. Suddenly all that time at the grocery store made sense..and I felt like a complete asshole.
           

It was one of the best birthdays EVER. Thank you Charlie, I love you (and I'm sorry I was a jackass). Thank you to all my friends who made it out and kept me in the dark (you bastards!). Thank you to Mathilde & Mihaela for treating me to a mani-pedi, some food & strong drinks (and kept quiet when I said I was pissed off with Charlie this morning). 35, you're not so bad after all.


Music Mondays will be back next week :)

Heidi is one of my new bloggy friends, who blogs over at Mustache Mama, a Featured Sponsor. She is also the designer and creator of laWarrior, a handcrafted jewelry etsy store...She is an amazingly talented designer, blogger and mom! Recently I got a little chance to ask her a few questions that I thought you readers would enjoy (ok, it was mostly for me because well, I just really loved her style!). 

So without further ado, here's Heidi's answers:

Q: As a mom to 2 kiddos, how do you continue to be "stylish"?

A: I wouldn't say I have always been a "Stylish Mom". After I had my daughter, I was in such a rut! I hated getting dressed to go out, pretty much because I didn't fit into any of my "normal" clothes. I am going to be honest with you, I gained some weight with both my kids, and it didn't disappear the instant I had them! I rocked my maternity jeans for quite awhile after I had both of them. Grew my hair out very long (I have always had SHORT hair, so that was kind of different). I basically dressed to be comfortable, being as I was running after 2 little munchkins all day long. And I just prayed no one every looked at me or even recognized me for that matter. I really didn't like looking in the mirrors, I just wasn't ME! After I started losing a lot of my baby weight (which I am still fighting to do now and my youngest is almost 2) I decided it was time to start looking like my old self again! I bought things that made me feel good about myself, things that fell in to the category of "My Style" and not "Oh well this will hide me from the world!" I love buying clothes so much more now since becoming a mom. I guess what I am also trying to say is you don't have to sacrifice your style just because your are a mom, just be you! 

Q:What is your daily routine?

A: It really is never the same! LOL I have been trying to get up before my kids, who are usually up by 7 am, so I can get stuff done or not. Then it's breakfast, which I make every morning, usually eggs and fruit or pancakes/french toast. Then it's just kind of all over the place. There might be a nap for at least one munchkin and some outside time if the weather permits (its been super nice lately so we have been taking advantage of it). Snack time, lunch time... Some TV, yes I let them watch TV. If I plan it out I can usually get dinner in the Crock Pot in the morning so by the time my Hubs is home (5:30ish) we can all sit down to have dinner...Then it's family time, bath time and the kids are in bed by 8:30. Then it starts all over again the next morning, either in the same order or not, which most of the time it's not! LOL 

Q: How do you incorporate blogging into your routine?

A: I am still trying to figure that out. I have only been blogging since June of this year, so I am still working it into the daily routine. I am trying to get a lot of my blogging done in the morning before the kids wake up. But it's usually done while they are eating breakfast, napping, or after they go to bed... Still trying to work on that! 

Q: You are also a jewelry maker - how do you make time to work on it?

A: Just like the blogging, I find the time to squeeze it in. If my Hubs is home and not working on his projects, I have him watch the kids. That allows me to either get stuff made, take photos and edit them, list things on Etsy or anything else that needs to be done. I have been better about asking for his help, I use to think I could just do it all...But I can't :) 

Q: Any tips for other moms out there to keep up with their style and sanity?

A: Hmmm... I would just say be yourself I guess. I know that is hard when you are taking care of other little humans, but find the time to do those things you loved before becoming a mom. Whether its going for those jogs to clear your head, manicures and pedicure with your girlfriends, or even just a trip to the store. I am just now doing this, and I have to say I am so glad that I am. I love my little goobers, but I need that hour trip to the grocery store by myself just to clear my head. Your life isn't over, it's just begun so embrace it and make it work to your advantage! Also, DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP!!!!! We are only human, so that extra helping hand can help out a TON!! I am so glad to have amazing family members and my husband who help me out constantly!! I thank them so much for that, otherwise I would have gone COO-COO!!!