{I was not in any way compensated for this post in regards to Flytographer. I truly believe in the company - which is why I work for them!}

F/1.8, Shutter Speed:1/50s, +0.7EV, ISO 1600 (overhead incandescent light)

Shutter Speed: 1/80s (overhead incandescent light)

F/16, at 1/200s, +0.7EV, Spot metering, ISO 200 Built in flash (overhead incandescent light)

F/1.8, 1/100s, ISO 800 Built in flash w/ lightscoop

F/4. 1/60s, +0.7EV, ISO 800 Built in flash w/ lightscoop

Last month Heidi over at Mustache Mama and Ashley Marie over at Chevron Stitches hosted the {You've Been Mugged} Mug Swap. I quickly signed up and was so excited to scour stores and find a mug for my swap partner - Lillies & Silk. But then life happened (or rather the opposite of that). So, I was unable to link up on Dec. 5th nor was I able to send the mug & gifts to my mug partner until last week, I think. I know, I am lame. Life can be lame sometimes, but you just have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and keep on going...

By the time I had received it and what with all that was going on in my personal life, I had forgotten all about the mug swap and when we were supposed to send (and receive) them. So, it was a lovely and wonderful surprise when I received a box at work. I was really racking my brain, like - what? I didn't order anything. Or did I, and just totally had mom brain? So when I opened the box up and all the careful wrapping and what not..the anticipation was killing me and then voila! Here is what Carissa of Lillies & Silk sent:




It really brightened up my day. I'm sort of glad that I received it first because, after all the life mess stuff I was enduring, all I could think of sending was a mug..and Carissa had sent not just a lovely mug but some treats as well along with her blog cards and note cards made by river & bridge. So, when I was finally able to get to sending out her mug, it was a much better package than I had originally intended. Except I wish I had gotten her the hazelnut flavored biscottis, but the store I went to was out of them - or well they had one left but it was all messed up and yeah, not gift worthy. Anyway, I hope she liked it (she said she did - yay!)

My original post today was too depressing or too full of itself - a little bit of both. We have a lot planned this weekend, but I really do hope to clean and purge and make some donations. I've gathered some unopened toys and would like to donate those to families. They're not fancy or the sought after trendy toys but hey, it's something. I wish people would forget all the consumerism stuff and just focus on the merriment and family togetherness part of the holidays..ok, see - there I go again with the depressing and too full of itself crap.

Anyway...there are lots of things to look forward to..I just need to remind myself of this, as we struggle in the day to day.

Also since it is Friday - it is Photo Friday (click on link to find out more)! This week's challenge is: Men.

Happy Friday! What are you all up to this weekend?

Hi Everyone! Happy Friday. As you read this I will be in LA attending my grandfather's memorial services. I have a guest post for you, something that I have been thinking about - trying to be a more legitimate freelancer. How do people do it? So here is one mama's perspective:

The Best of Both Worlds: Juggling a Freelance Career with Being a Stay-at-Home-Mom written by “Evelyn Pearce”

The decision to go back to work or become a stay-at-home-mom is a tough choice for any new mother. In today’s turbulent economy, sometimes returning to work isn’t even a choice – it’s a necessity. A study carried out by Working Mother backs this up showing that the majority of women surveyed wanted one arrangement but felt like they had to settle for another. It also indicates that the majority of working mothers feel guilty about not spending enough time with their kids whilst the majority of SAHM feel just as bad about not contributing to the family finances. In short, nobody’s happy.

At times like this many people think that working from home on a freelance basis is the ideal solution; a way to save money on childcare and spend time caring for the family while still being able to earn an, often lucrative, income. I have to admit that I was one of those people. I thought that my job as a freelance copy/content writer would be easy to juggle with motherhood, but that was before I actually gave birth - back when I knew precisely nothing about babies and their demands. Eight months along my bumbling journey into motherhood the bags under my eyes, chaotic home and mounting pile of papers on my desk prove just how wrong I was.

The preconception that freelancing and motherhood is a way of achieving the ‘best of both worlds’ is just that – a preconception. In fact, often you feel like unable to fully commit to either aspect so really it’s more like the worst of both worlds. Being supermom whilst simultaneously running a successful business is hard work, frazzling in fact. But it is do-able. Ultimately finding the right balance is a very personal thing and different things work for different mothers, but here are a few tips that I’ve learnt from my experience as a freelancer and a mother.

Routine is key (but flexible works too)

For the first six weeks of my son’s life I was in that daze that tends to engulf a lot of new moms. Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep, perhaps it’s the new and overwhelming sense of responsibility or perhaps it’s the trauma of childbirth – who knows. Either way, I was feeding on demand, sleeping intermittently and definitely not thinking about work.

However when things settled down a bit I found that routine was good for both my baby and my career. Getting him into a bath/bottle/bed routine meant that he began sleeping for longer at night (hallelujah!) and timing his naps and bottles during the day meant that I knew when and roughly how long I’d get to work for. Of course his routine will change as he gets older and I fully predict days on the horizon where nothing will get done due to unforeseen illnesses, extra curricular activities and so on. In these instances its pays to have a flexible mindset – don’t ditch your routine completely but accept that now and then it may get thrown off course and you’ll find yourself working outside of your usual working hours.

The beauty of being a freelancer is that you can pick your hours in conjunction with the demands of your family life and your clients. Now and then this will mean adjusting a routine but in general you should commit to your self-set working hours in the same way that you would commit to an employer in order to get the job done.

Accept that you’ll have to make sacrifices

It’s just not humanly possible to give 100% to every aspect of your life 100% of the time. There will be occasions where you may need to sacrifice one area of your life in order to make the other one work. Maybe you’ll have to say no to a social engagement, live in an untidy home or turn down a potential client. I’ve had to do all three and yes, at times, it did make me feel guilty, dejected and downright grumpy. At times like this you need to assess your priorities, decide what is most important and practical then find an acceptance (even a begrudging acceptance) in making the necessary sacrifices. There’s just no other way and beating yourself up about it will make things worse.

Don’t take on too much

Similarly, if you feel like you are having to make so many sacrifices that your career, family life and general happiness is suffering then it’s time to re-evaluate. A feeling that you’re simply unable to keep all of the balls of your busy life up in the air is a sign that you’re taking on too much and this will be ultimately detrimental to all areas of your life. In these instances don’t be afraid to ask for help, take a break or simply say no to some of the demands that are being placed on you.

Consider childcare

When I first mentioned putting my son into a childcare for one day a week I was met with a lot of confused stares and comments like ‘But why? You’re at home all day’. Sometimes people just don’t understand that caring for a baby and working are mutually exclusively concepts – I guess they never tried to breastfeed while typing. My son loves his time at kindergarten. It gives him some extra stimulation, a change of environment and the opportunity to mix with other kids. It also gives me one full day to commit solely to my work and catch up with household chores.

I’ll let you into a secret – some days I hire a car for the day and take myself off for a long drive into the country or a shopping trip. Some days I do nothing at all. The well deserved break and crucial 'me' time is worth every cent of my son's childcare costs.

Enjoy it

Most freelancers work this way in order for them to pursue a career that they love. In my case it’s writing. For others it could be design, artwork, business or crafts. There will invariably be times when you’re tired, stressed and a little unhappy. But if you find yourself constantly disillusioned with your job then perhaps it’s time to start looking elsewhere. You don’t have to quit work altogether but maybe something new with more structure could be the way forward for you. Work is about so much more than a paycheck and you should never have to sacrifice your love of your art for monetary purposes.

Thank you Evelyn! I'll see you all when I get back, whenever that may be. In the meantime, please stop by these lovely blogs:

• Little Mudpies- Letter to Motherhood - such a great post! 
• This Amazing Day - Looking in the Mirror - an old post but a rather good one. 
• Harvesting Kale - One Year of Parenting: Balance - again, an oldie but a goodie. 
• Meeting Maxwell - #2 two..the saga continues - Deciding on baby #2 - read up and offer your insight and or support :) 
• While it Rains - A birth story - I am a sucker for birth stories! 

and now for something completely different - a little fun (not that the above blogs aren't fun):

• Everyday with Hazel Mae - Easy Chicken Pot Pie recipe - I LOVE me some chicken pot pies! Even better when it's an easy recipe!
• Lulu & Sweet Pea - Things I Don't Love posts - hilarious and pretty spot on, at least for me. 
• The Mustache Mama - Handmade Holiday Gift Guide -Like I mentioned in a previous post, I am going to be making most of our gifts this year, like most years..except this year I'm going to put a lot more effort into it. Ok, I plan on making a lot more effort. Wish me luck on actually accomplishing it!

per·spec·tive (p r-sp k t v). n. 1. a. A view or vista. b. A mental view or outlook: "It is useful occasionally to look at the past to gain a perspective on the present" ...

 Lately, what with my reduced hours and little faith in the industry I am currently working in, I am day dreaming more and more of pursing my passions and delving into a more creative field and quite possibly, becoming a serious freelancer (or rather a more legitimate one).

I have always been a creative and artsy fartsy person. I started drawing seriously (as in not doodles and more like portraits kind of stuff) as a kid when I was 7 years old and actively pursued drawing and painting up till my late teens and only switched to Art History in my 20's (among other majors like photography, biology, and religious studies). I worked at an art restoration/conservation company (hmm, maybe I need to contact them to re-design their website?) for more than 4 years while in high school and early college. I also attended summer programs at California College of the Arts (back when they were known as Calif. College of Arts & Crafts  - I guess they didn't like the crafts part so much, even though now a days - crafts are a big thing - and I don't think of them as simple art forms as they are still definitely a skill set). But what do I have to show for all this? Not much because..

Then I found boys and I totally lost myself in the upkeep of having these psuedo loving relationships. I had to, often times pretend I was someone else. I would take on what they liked instead of nurtured what I liked or was good at. If they were avid gamers, then I had to be an avid gamer. If they were really into music and was in a band (unfortunately, I had a bad habit of being attracted to emotionally unavailable musician gamers) then I of course was into music (note: I have always been into music but you know, like pretended to like a band when you really had no clue who they were? And then the next week you have all their albums or CDs) and playing in a band (I actually did know how to play bass when I was a teenager and came up with a convoluted story on why I quit playing. Somehow, it made me more attractive to bad boyfriends in my college days). Instead of nurturing my strengths, I succumbed to  my weaknesses - not knowing my self worth and the value of self love. I always think back on that line in Labyrnth - "you have no power over me"..that moment when she remembers that line and that truth - it is so very true of how I came to remembering my own self worth. It's that instant when all the pieces fall (back) into place again. That a-ha moment, that light switch being turned on..It's a good feeling.

This isn't to say that I don't struggle with self-esteem issues, because I do and as a woman and a mom, it comes with the territory. I'm not saying that's a good thing, but that's reality. But, one's self-worth is different from one's self-esteem. I have always struggled with my self esteem, but about 6 years ago (right before the time I started my first blog), before I met my husband I had that a-ha moment. the self esteem stuff, back then and sometimes even now, I faked it. I have always been a believer of the fake it till you make it mentality. I've always pretended to be confident. I've always pretended to be the cool one, so that I could make an attempt to be he popular girl, to make up for all the years I never was anything to anyone, in school. I was quite the opposite while I was in school, even up till college and really even now. I am really quite shy (No, seriously, I am!) If you will it, so it will be. You just have to believe in the farce long enough and be able to laugh at yourself and have fun and not let it get to your head. Moderation is key, as with anything..anyway..where was I? Ah yes, so passions...following your passions. I regret not following my (true) passions (there is a corny pervy joke in there somewhere) when I had the chance to nurture them, but then again, perhaps if I did, I wouldn't be where I am at today. Which is annoyed and scared and financially insecure, I kid I kid. Sort of. Anyway, I wouldn't have met and be married to a wonderful husband and father, nor be a mother to two kiddos. I wouldn't be living in the Bay area and have the family and friends for support. It's all good. We get to where we need to be, one way or another. I guess, the trick is knowing that you are supposed to be there in the first place...

Whenever I get a chance, I look up bloggers or other successful people I am inspired by and wish I could find out how they got to where they were at, and how I could do it for myself. Luckily there were/are successful bloggers who already had this idea and have a series on just this subject:

• Inspired To Share: Dream Job series
• Moriah Makes: Pursuing Her Passion series

How about you, what are your passions? Have you made your hobby and or passion into a business? If so, please do share!

And to new readers, followers and "like"-ers of the blog - THANK YOU for finding me and stopping by and actually (& hopefully) reading!! :) (have you noticed yet, that I love parentheses?)

And to the loyalists, thanks for putting up with me and continuing to put up with me!

Happy Friday!

P.s. If you are looking to do something creative, photography wise, and are open to a challenge - come check out Photo Friday challenge - "orderly" :

How It Works Check the Photo Friday website each Friday for the week's Challenge - or better yet, sign up for email notices and we'll send you a reminder.

We pick a Challenge theme or subject, and your job is to take pictures interpreting it. When you're done, upload your picture(s) to your site, then enter your picture link on the Photo Friday website.

Friday is the day we post the Challenge, but you can enter your link on Photo Friday whenever you like. It doesn't have to be on Friday!

If you already have the perfect image in your archive that suits the Challenge, go ahead and submit your link to it, or take a new picture - it's your choice.

Pompeyo Narciso Licas, Jr. July 20,1929 - November 22, 2012

It is with a heavy heart that I share the sad news that my grandfather passed away yesterday. I doubt Thanksgiving will ever be the same.

But it's all about perspective. I am grateful for the 83 years my grandfather had on this earth. The years spent with my grandfather will always be cherished and remembered. His laughter, his reprimands, his wisdom. I am very thankful.

I told Charlie, that every Thanksgiving could be marred with the grief of this time. He replied, not unless you see it as a way to remember how much he has lived. During the time I was at the hospital and throughout the day yesterday, I kept getting text and picture messages sharing the comfort of family and friends on this holiday with photos of happy couples, family dinners and baby's 1st thanksgiving cuteness. It was very bittersweet. Such is life. Such is death. As one of my friends stated: it's good to focus on life during death as they are at opposite ends of the journey but yet similar.

Watching my dad and his siblings gather around and support each other, putting their past differences aside to come together to be with their dad and stand by their mom was extraordinary. To be part of this family and be let in to the "inner circle" sort of speak, rather than kept at the "children's table" was comforting and had me realize how much of an adult I am (supposed to be) now. It also had me realize that despite the ages of my dad, aunts and uncles, that they are children too. That, yes this was my grandfather, but that this was their father. I know, of course right? but those words were put into reality when things unfolded as they did.


My grandmother is doing ok, given the circumstances. My dad is holding on to a regret that he cannot let go of. And I'm seeing my aunt and uncles in a completely different light.


I don't know if I mentioned it before (maybe it was in a draft of a post but never published?) but when my grandpa got sick, I was fearful that I would make the same mistake I did with my other grandpa. When I had a choice to visit him one last time and being in denial and 14 years old, I said that I could just see him again tomorrow, but that tomorrow never came. So, I am grateful that I was able to make it to LA a day earlier than usual. To be by his side one last time, when he was awake and somewhat coherent.

I love you papa. You will be missed but you truly are in a better place.

Thank you to everyone who offered their support and condolences.

If there is any advice to give, it is this: hold your loved ones close, and if there has been some time dividing you, reach out and say hello, and try to let bygones be bygones, because you just never know.

Man, we've come a long way and as much as I complain, I know we are very fortunate to have what we have (and don't have). A comment from yesterday's Currently post brought up some questions on how it is we live the way we live and it presented a very important thought about how we, as a society, tend to perceive things and judge - be it of events, situations, and people. Despite the saying - "don't judge a book by its cover" - most often, we do just that.

We are a family of modest means. Our combined income is sometimes half that of one person's income here in the Bay Area (think Silicon Valley software engineers). Our house is full of used, found and free items. And actually this house found us. We weren't actively looking for places when we were approached about the house, but because we had just found out we were pregnant with baby #2, we knew it was a matter of time to move on from our other (and much loved) more expensive place in Oakland and we are renters. Our downstairs neighbor is the property manager, who happens to be a good friend of my husband, Charlie, and a wonderful uncle to our kids. He is the reason why we have the house and our lovely backyard. He also paid for all our utilities for 6 months as a gift to Raima during my maternity leave. Sometimes, when we fall short, we have our families to ask on for help, and we are very thankful for that. I know, we are very fortunate.

We live in what people would call a neighborhood in transition. Whenever we say we live in West Oakland, people think we're crazy (I'm quite used to this). First, people think of what they hear and see in the news. Yes, Oakland has a high crime rate, and yes even more so in West Oakland. But crime can be found everywhere, and luckily we haven't found it on our street. We know most our neighbors by name. We love our house, and we're glad to call it home.

We try to buy local and organic whenever we can. We shop at Monterey Market in Berkeley, each week (sometimes every other week) and usually spend at most $20. We used to shop at farmer's markets but it got to be too expensive. I love Monterey Market. We usually shop at the discount section, where some of the produce will need to be used that day or that week, which is fine by us. I usually don't do any meal planning until I've seen our loot. And sometimes, what a loot! A bag of no pesticide, CA grown avocados = .98 cents. A bag of organic heirloom tomatoes = $1.98. A bag of organic eggplants, cauliflower, fresh organic herbs, a medley of gourmet mushrooms - all at a discount. Plus regular priced items and a splurge on fresh local coffee beans, if we are able to. We usually make stir frys, quiches, soups and pizzas with our produce.

For pantry and household items (like soaps, shampoos, toothpaste etc), we shop at our local Grocery Outlet. We only found out about it because we used to live a block away and it was the closest grocery store. I hadn't known about it before then. But man, I love that place! It's like a Ross Dress for Less store except for groceries. They have the basic staples, eggs (sometimes they have free range organic brown eggs! for a fraction of the cost at say Whole Foods.) bread (a great selection of local solar powered organic at half the cost of other markets), milk, cheese and a slew of other stuff which can be hit or miss. We usually spend about $75-$150/month (depends on what we already have in our pantry) there and pick up a lot of great stuff, and mostly organic!

I've always been a bargain hunter and have never paid full price for anything. Growing up, we didn't have much until my brother was about 10 years old. When we first came to the States, we lived with 3 other families in a one bedroom apartment until our family moved out and into a two bedroom apartment where my dad was the manager and handyman of the building. I thought we were living the life back then because I finally had my own room, a bed and my own TV. My parents held two jobs each at that time and slowly moved up the social/financial ladder. My dad was an engineer and my mom was a dietitian back in their home country (oh, I guess it's my country too, but I've been here since I was 4.5 years old - and really all I know is America).

I know what it looks like to struggle. My mom would bring home "expired" food home from her work so that we would have something to eat. I hardly saw my parents because they worked so much to make ends meet and provide for us bratty kids (I remember asking specifically for a cabbage patch doll to only get a generic version and I wasn't too happy about it. but I changed my tune eventually and even finally got a real one, that I quickly drew all over. Sorry dad.). But all in all, I wouldn't call it struggling. We were surviving and we were fine. I didn't know any better anyway. We shopped at thrift stores, warehouse sales, swapmeets and garage sales. Today, bargain shopping is totally in, but when I was a kid - I used to get made fun of for shopping at thrift stores and having shoes from payless.

Anyway, this is becoming a (too) long of a post. My point is, try and reserve judgement. Despite what or how people present themselves, you might not have the whole picture/story. Sometimes in the blogging world, we see these lovely families and people and paint a picture in our heads of how their lives truly are but remember we are only getting a glimpse into their world and we should be kind and  thankful for that little insight. I hope to raise my kids with the attitude that it isn't about all of the stuff in our life, but about the stuff we do. Life is about the people, the journey, the love, the memories we have and build together and if you see that my family is successful because of this - then, I'm doing something right..


What about you? What's your perspective on the stuff we can accumulate and the judgement we can at times tend to make on people and situations? Has there been a time when you perceived something one way to only change your mind later on?

Happy Friday everyone! I hope you all enjoy your weekend and thank you for stopping by and following our journey. If you ever have any questions, please do drop me a line, here in the comments or send me an email.

We had the pleasure of celebrating my dear friend Rosalyn's birthday as well as her return home from the hospital as a new mama and meeting their new addition, Alileo. At first, Charlie & I were a little nervous. What if we were crowding them and being too pushy by asking to have a visit so soon? Would they want to hang out with us and our kids (way past their bedtimes)? But it was her birthday, I thought. And and...well..both her and her husband, Andres were very welcoming and happy to have some visitors (and to have food other than hospital food). We ordered a lot of yummy vegetarian food (except that I didn't know that her mother, who was in town, was allergic to soy!) brought a bottle of sparkling apple cider and a couple of cakes. One for the mama, and one for the baby. Roz's friend, Maria, also came over and brought them a bag full of groceries (great presents for new parents!) and made a GF red velvet cake (which happens to be my favorite. Red velvet, not so much the GF - but her cake was actually delicious enough that I asked for the recipe!).

We hung out, talked, shared, smelled the baby, held the baby, laughed...it was great. I am so glad it worked out - especially since we got parking right on their block - which if you know SF at all - you know parking is very hard to come by!

Oh sweet babies...I had forgotten how small the cry sounds were of a newborn. I'm sure to me they were small, just in comparison to the loudness both my kids can be at times, but to the new parents eh, not so much.

So many babies being born and or about to be born, that I'm starting to question my 2 kids rule (HA, no not really) and I sort of imagine having another baby (no, really this is just a day dream) but then I think they would outnumber us and sometimes I already feel outnumbered.

It was beautiful to watch Roz and her new family. There were three generations in that house. And we got to be there to witness another remarkable year. You know, Roz was there when Raima was born. I wanted her to be there because of how much of a positive person she is. The always half full kind of person. The one who wears the rosy glasses. She seemed so at ease and so relaxed. I don't know if I was ever like that, but I remember being told how calm I was as a new mother, but I just don't remember that. Perhaps because inside - I was a mess, but on the outside I was trying to keep it together. I don't think I ever wanted to leave the house or even see people, which is probably why I was nervous that we would be imposing...but Roz isn't like that. And I think she would have been honest enough to say it wasn't the right time. I can't wait to share more memories with her new family.

If you are a new parent or a seasoned parent, what was one of the better advice you've received? And what was the worst or strangest? I'm sure you all have something to share. What's your perspective?

I think as parents and especially as a mom, we forget that we also need to take time to care for ourselves. I know I have a difficult time doing this. I found this nice list from here. The ones listed below I want to try this weekend:

1. Take a five-minute break, wherever you are, close the door, close your eyes, breathe deeply and relax. You deserve this.

2. Make a mug of tea, treat yourself to your favorite latte or smoothie. Delight your senses with taste and flavors.

3. Move your body – dance, go for a walk or run, do yoga or some deep stretching, heck even skip around your house. Twirl, hula hoop, do the running (wo)man, jump up and down like a human pogo stick – whatever feels good to your body in this moment.

16. Write a letter to your younger self and celebrate how much you’ve done and how far you’ve come.
18. Put on your favorite cozy pants and top and spend an evening in watching your fave guilty pleasure TV show. 

Oh and go read this from a new follower's blog (thank you!).

It's finally Friday! This morning I didn't know what my mood would be, because I haven't been getting to bed early (I tried last night, and well - did get to be at 11:30 but then didn't actually try to sleep until 11:54!) and now have a sick baby co-sleeping next to me, so suffice to say, I haven't had any quality sleep (a measly 54%!)). Plus, last night I had this really strange dream (which must mean that last night I did get some quality sleep, right? or deep sleep? anyway..) that had these tight & upsetting feelings carry over into reality. Jax wasn't cooperating with me to get his clothes on fast enough since it turned out that I was the one who was going to be driving him to school (yes, I say school instead of daycare because really - he's learning there) and not Charlie and time was ticking away...

I had to remind myself to slow down, enjoy..hey, I get to spend time with my kiddo - one on one like I said, even though it will be for a short minute, but it's better than nothing at all. He sang, I listened (and now his song is stuck in my head, and I don't even know any of the words!). He asked me questions, I answered as best I could (you don't like the freeway mommy? Why?...Why?). He asked me to pick him up and gave me extra hugs and kisses, and even though I was somewhat late to work, it was all worth it. 

Just that little time with Jax totally changed my outlook on what the day could bring..life is good and then I get to work, and no one's there but me (yay!). I proceeded to check my inbox and saw that I had new comments (woot! thank you guys!). Getting those emails really brightens up my day. For reals. Then I scrolled down (I really need to clean my inbox!) and received an opportunity to become an affiliate for the clothing company, Shabby Apple! I was very surprised (and flattered) that they reached out to me! But you can also sign up to become an affiliate by going here.

Have you guys seen their stuff? I am in love with their retro style clothing, but am especially loving and inspired by their program for emerging designers. It has always been a (yet another) dream of mine to have my own clothing line. I went (back) to school to study pattern making & fashion design at Apparel Arts Academy in SF. It was an amazing, hands-on experience (and took me a long time to accomplish). If you've ever wanted to make clothes and are located in the Bay area, I'd suggest checking them out (I completed the program in 2003, I think). They offer intensive seminars, day and evening classes to suit most schedules. Anyway, I hope to one day, enter some of my designs to the program..one thing at a time though first..I still have those clutches and or tote bags to make!



Full Disclosure: Yes, the Shabby Apple links are affiliate links, which means that when you click on the link or image of the site AND make a purchase, I will get a small commission from that purchase for leading you to their site and loving something enough that you bought it. Please know, that whenever I am approached to share a deal, do a sponsorship or an affiliate program, I will always be honest about it and only accept what I believe in and can standby. I will always have the best interests of my readers and my family in mind, in doing so. All sponsored or shared posts will always be my own thoughts and opinions and will never be swayed. Thank you.

Often, when I am reading blogs, as I do on a daily basis, I will easily start to feel a little inadequate (ok, a lot inadequate) as I compare myself to these wonderful mothers, their children, their homes and their lives. I start to narrowly take a look at my life and think, why can't my life be like that? how can it be like that?

I wish my house was constantly spotless, but I will settle for tidy (in most areas).  I wish my children would listen to what I say the first time around, but I will settle for following my directions after the third (or fourth or fifth) try. I wish I was more fashionable, but I will settle for (the appearance of) pulled together, at least on 3 out of 5 work days. I wish things came easier to me and that frustrations would roll off of me as if I had been practicing zen Buddhism for years, but I will settle for being mindful and quiet when I am challenged and understand that it is OK to sometimes walk away from a situation to gain a better perspective.

In a world where we tell our children and ourselves to never settle, sometimes we should do just that (not in everything but in some things).  We tell our children to embrace their individuality.. We try and tell our children to not compare themselves to others and to find in themselves that they are complete and beautiful creatures. Strange how it is much more difficult to embrace my own snippets of (supposed) wisdom as if I somehow don't have anything to learn as well, because I am the adult, I should know better. But the truth is, I sometimes don't. No one is perfect, and if they tell you they are, they're lying and or have a wait staff to help with everything.

It's hard to slow down in our fast paced world. I know I am guilty of this rush rush rush mentality and I can become easily frustrated (with my kids and or husband especially). If I could just remember to stop (collaborate and listen..crap, I mean), take a breath, slow down and be patient, things will seem easier and become simpler. Anyway, I want to slow down a bit more, stop and smell the roses as they say, enjoy the present....

source: Volan in the Sky

Happy Birthday to you mom. I think of you always. You would have been 57 years old and a grandmother of two. One who is named after you, Corazon. Befitting that she has my heart.

My mom always had time to call you, and I don't mean just her children..she always had the time for you. I know, she was a mom so its a given right? I never understood it until I became a mother myself and was fully immersed in it all, the duties, the politics..it really is sometimes a thankless job. It's something that I regret to this day...not thanking her enough, not seeing how aside for her being a mom to me, she was someone's daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend - she was an individual and I was just..being a kid (even until my twenties). Oh the fights we would have. Anyway, I don't dwell much on the negatives but I see it and I think of them only to learn from them, since I have a daughter now. Especially because I have a daughter now.

Mom at her 52nd Birthday

Anyway..MOM - you were (and are) a wonderful mother - don't let anyone tell you otherwise...you have taught me so much, even now..HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

My mom when she was little - middle girl, age approx. 6?

Mom in her high school or college days? - left picture she is the one on the end at right.

Mom & me circa 1979-80?

Mom & me - aged 14, the 90's can't you tell by my swatch watch!

 Happy Friday to you all...big weekend this is, isn't it? Halloween festivities!

These days, in the morning, Jax does not want to get up (I don't blame him, neither do I).  This morning, he asked me to please turn off the lights (at least he said please!). He was sitting up waiting for me to do this, and when I finally did, he grabbed his cover and slammed his body back onto his bed and said, oh thanks! I told him that tomorrow you can sleep as long as you want. Okay, he said. Tomorrow you don't have to get up early, ok? Okay, mom he responded (ha, we shall see). I continued with getting Raima ready as she was climbing and playing on her toddler bed (that she doesn't sleep in yet, that we got for free off of freecycle) and I caught a glimpse of my mom in the painting that sits in the corner of their room. Her birthday is a week away.

So, as I stared at that painting I made of her, I thought of some things.  Sad, happy, bittersweet things. For awhile, I didn't know what to do with that painting. It's a painting I made when I was 14. Her face with a wreath of bright red carnations atop her head, flanked by my brother and myself as children. A happy looking painting, but I think of her during that time and think, was she really happy then? I've put it away several times and brought it back out again. I tried to put it up here and there not really finding a good home for it. It carries too many memories, but I like looking at it from time to time, so now it sits in the corner of my kids room. So that she's there watching her grandkids. It's also there to remind me to tell my kids about her, since I will be the only opportunity for them to know her.

I pointed to her, to the painting, and asked Jax - do you know who that is? Before he can give me an answer, I tell him. It's your grandma Cora. That's my mom. He says, that's my mama too! No, Jax, I say - it's my mama, she's not here today but if she was she would have loved you soooo much. I love her too, Jax says right away. That's my Grandma, he continues. That's your mom! he exclaims. My heart sung with delight watching him tell me this. So, I kiss my kiddos good bye and tell them I'd see them later. And it was off to work for me..

Happy Friday everyone..(I hope Jax remembers that he can sleep in tomorrow!)