the baby is about 2 pounds and 14.5 inches long now, at least on average. and is slowly rotating in preparation to “head out” (thats not my "witty" remark) you know how this preparation takes place? oh by the baby moving about and putting pressure on all sorts of parts, like my bladder (what's new?) and most importantly my cervix..although, im not quite there yet. but i can tell you i am fucking uncomfortable at night. it sucks, but you know, its what happens. so im at the beginning of my third trimester - the last stretch. i cant believe that im here already. i know i still have a ways to go (90 days and more if necessary) but i cant believe how far along i already am. its so weird cause i look back and i remember thinking to myself - when am i going to start showing? and now, well yeah, its pretty obvious. although 2 strange occurrences happened to me on the way to help out a doula training class - 2 guys kind of hit on me?? it was very very strange..maybe they just thought i was fat?

anyway, so the baby - i feel him kick or squirm everyday now. mostly when i am the most inactive like trying to get the last bits of sleep before having to get up to go to work or when im sitting and vegging out to the tv. cw has also felt him now a few times..its pretty neat.

apparently the third trimester has with it the same symptoms as the first trimester..for my case, its fatigue and lots of aches and pains, but thank god no nausea. i do however, sweat like a mofo now but no swelling of hands or feet yet. and even though i dont think i need to go use the bathroom, if someone just mentions it, my body sends a signal to my brain - uh, i think you should just go, just do it. i have tried to fight the urge but just cant let it go. its like when you have locked your car and walked away and then the thought of wait, did i like the back and then even though you are sure you did - its too late, youve planted the seed of doubt so you return to your car..its kind of like that..kind of.

what else is new? cw finally got a job (YAY!) as of last week and went to do training saturday and ended up having to go again on sunday. im all for it, but the fool still hasnt found out how much they are paying him. and i know hes excited because he has a lot of skills he has to offer and they are LOVING it (in fact they need all the help they can get) but then again, its like you also dont want them to get used to you giving 110% for just about nothing especially since they havent told you how much all this work is going to be for. im not saying do a shit poor job at it either. im just saying well...sigh i cant really explain..i guess half of me feels as if they are taking advantage of a great worker and an all around nice guy. but you know, its not my deal. but part of it is too - if that makes any sense? well, im just glad he does have a job and its something hes liking so far, so thats not bad at all.

anyway, a new plan that i have tried to talk to cw about is when the baby is about 12 months old we make sacrifices and have our baby go to day care (it saddens me, but i cant expect cw to put his dreams on hold - that saddens me even more) that he go and work to pursue his teaching credentials. there are several programs out there that will pay him to teach while he gets his credentials. you do your classroom work and get paid as a teacher during the day and take the credential program classes at night. i told him that he should get all his paperwork in order to pursue this right away or at least soon. his answer? we have time..im sorry but not really. once the baby is born there isnt much time for sitting on things and waiting..now is the time. then he talks about translation work and so on and so forth..well, has he been doing anything to pursue that, no not really. it frustrates me sometimes. what even frustrates me more is when he decides to finally do things, he talks about other people telling him about it..like i hadnt been mentioning it? maybe i nag him a bit too much but shit..youve got to understand the pressure im in..anyway, i feel that if he pursued teaching, like he had always wanted to do before even meeting me that it would just fit with life with the baby. summers he's off and can do translation and tutor work while taking care of the kid or kids..i plan to be back at work while the baby is 3 months old. i just have to, for financial reasons and so that gives cw at least 9 months to prepare and get into those internship programs oakland has an abundance of...i just hope he doesnt treat it like our cars registration renewal....which i just paid last night and had to pay a late fee, even though i reminded cw to pay it ages ago...damn it, i feel like im turning into my mother (no offense mom) which is really - a mother...nag nag nag...jesus christ...no wonder he doesnt listen to me..